I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
