I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
me + whiskey = a bad person
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
