there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
