It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize