If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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