we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
