All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
