You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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