Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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