I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I love you.
Bad choice
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
