i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
