Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
