we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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