In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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