She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
