My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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