Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
lets start a swedish sibling band together
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
