I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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