Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize
