Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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