Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
