The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Panties = found
Randomize
