I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
