I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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