New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
