from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize