What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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