Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
you will always have a special place in my vag
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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