But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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