some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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