He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
