im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
