yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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