it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize