Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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