i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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