NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
