Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
