i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
