u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
