my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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