So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
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