So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
