You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
