Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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