I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
