i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
