he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
