My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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