Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
