youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
