I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
