I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize