How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
