We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
