well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
