yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
