wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
