I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
