Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
