so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
